it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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