so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize