Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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