Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
false alarm, still single
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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