All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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