Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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