Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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