You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
