she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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