Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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