i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
