I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
