Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
