I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
