Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
