We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your penis caused this!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
