dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
