I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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