grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
