Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
