I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
