It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
