Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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