So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
