It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
