Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
