You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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