look no pants
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
