I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
