If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
