Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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