Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
