i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize