Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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