trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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