You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
