my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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