Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
