it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
