I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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