I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
