I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
