No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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