I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
