There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize