even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
