Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
