It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
