How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
