Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
