I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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