i may or may not be watching the land before time
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
