is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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