Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
