We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
