She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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