you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
