Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
