Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's never too late to be topless.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
