do herpes really smell.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
