Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I CAN MOONWALK!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
