i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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