remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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