I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
