I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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